I watched Eagle Eye a couple of days ago and, I have to admit, it was a decent flick. (Yes, even with man-child Shia LaBeouf as the lead.) Well paced action, halfway intelligent dialogue. Not bad at all. (And how far we’ve come Billy Bob! Once a slovenly retard in Sling Blade and now an FBI agent. If that’s not an American dream come true, I don’t fucking know what is.) What really pleased me about the movie, however, was that the writers did such an excellent job of hiding the fact that one day, someway, there will be an Eagle Eye 2: Eye of the Beholder. (Again starring LaBeouf but switching out leading lady Michelle Monaghan with the more attractive but significantly less talented Jessica Simpson and the deceased FBI agent played by Billy Bob Thornton with everybody’s go-to older black gentleman, Morgan Freeman.)
See, my problem is that most big budget action films today are written with the express purpose of introducing sequels that no one’s even really thought all that much about yet. Sure, Brendan Frasier may have shot the mummy six times in the head but we all know that after all of the main character turn around and walk away, a bandaged arm is going to rise from the sand with a renewed sense of vitality - if not before the credits, then after. Oh, and you were fairly sure that Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum had finished off all of the aliens with their computer virus, weren’t you? Well, they didn’t, because, unbeknownst to them, the cargo hold of the ship they rode back to Earth on is full of spacebaby eggs, ready to hatch in two years, just after post-production on Independence Day 2: Even More Independent. (And, see, I realize that neither of those two examples actually happened in The Mummy or Independence Day, and that by not occurring they, in fact, make it look like many more movies than just simply Eagle Eye fit under the “Didn’t Announce Their Sequel” category, but I think you get my point anyway. I would have used real cases but I keep getting hit with royalty and libel suits... So, I’m trying something new: Making shit up and appearing less and less coherent.)
But, seriously, Eagle Eye 2 is going to be awesome. I’ll rip it from the Internet on day one.
